Tired of lugging around your Kindle, Nook or other cumbersome e-reader? Feel embarrassed and out of date pulling out a bound volume?

Well Memorandum in Tandem is here to introduce the latest in literary technology.

Lil’ books

 

Lil’ Books allows you, the reader, to carry up to 5 books in your very pocket. With these hand made leather bound books, you will be able to read anywhere and have a whole encyclopedia at your finger tips. No need to charge or update these Lil’ Books, as they will always work, provided you have the proper reader glasses of 100x magnification. No more tapping on a screen and eye fatigue from the harsh glow. Now your eye fatigue will simply come from reading actual text on a page so small, only 3 tiny bees can sit on it at once.

Order yours now for $500 + shipping and handling from MemoinTando@gmail.com

Glasses, hand and bees not included.

After over a decade of tormenting this regular American suburb, police finally caught up with the Tin Can Killer.

Memorandum and Tandem is at the scene of his arrest.

Police say that Mr. X is a middle aged white man living alone. We have done some serious sleuthing and discovered that no one in the neighborhood was surprised to learn that Mr. X was actually the famous serial killer.

Old Gramma Jones, 103, reports exclusively to Memorandum in Tandem, “I used to see him sneaking around my garden at twilight. He would hide behind the bushes when I went onto the porch. And I was always pretty certain Mr. X was the one who decapitated my cat, Big Joe.”

Says Sally Simpson, 42, down the block, “Once he chased me down the street with a sledgehammer. He screamed that he was going to kill me. I don’t know why I never called the cops.”

“Every couple of weeks he would dig a rectangular hole in the backyard, usually about six by three feet,” notes Allen Davis, 33, a door to door salesman in the area. “Once he actually came to the door when I rang and I heard a struggle before he opened it. I am not even remotely surprised that he has been killing people for years.”

 

Local woman, Beth Harrow, 46, has always been of the mind, ‘don’t believe everything you read,’ until now. After discovering an article entitled, “The 6th Extinction: Are We Next?” Harrow began saying her goodbyes and getting her affairs in order. “Well if I’m on the way out, I just want to make sure I tell my parents how much I love them. Life was pretty cool.” Harrow has decided to stay at home until the extinction takes place. “It could be any day now, so I’m just gonna get comfy and wait. I’ve already closed out all my banks accounts, cashed in my retirement and bought one of those sleep number beds.” Harrow now spends her days with the radio and television on at all times, “I know that one of these days, they will sound the alarm and say, ‘it’s happening’ and I don’t want to miss it.” When asked if she misses her life outside of her home she said “Some days I stand at the window and watch kids playing outside in the neighborhood and I just feel bad for them – obviously their parents are just keeping this horrible news from them. They will probably be the first to go.”