Author: Gem

The Hair Scarf
Tired of short hair? Don’t have the patience to grow it out? Wish there was an alternative to hair expensive extensions to give you luscious locks at a moments notice?
From the company that brought you the revolutionaryBump-It’s, Memorandum in Tandem is teaming up with Bernard James’ line Hunt and Gather to bring you the latest in haute couture accessories. An innovation sure to make waves in the fashion world.
The Hair Scarf.
This scarf made out of 100% human hair will make you the talk of the town. Perfect for any occasion. The Hair Scarf blends in so well-no one will ever know the difference!
Place your order today
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You’ve Got to Pick a Pocket or Two
The lack of attention Pockets get in this day and age is out right unjust.
Although men do seem to take advantage of these cloth caverns, woman seem to ignore their sheer functionality and instead buy a purse to match the outfit.
Is this another area of female oppression? Why are only some dresses pocket-ful?
All I can say is, poor, poor pockets…
The same goes for beltloops.

No Apologies

After missing the entire month of January, Diamond and Gem want all our devoted followers to know…we have forgotten you.

Luckily, today I remembered you all.
Diamond has been busy. And I have been lazy.
I predict that this weekend a new cream poem may be added to our repertoire.
Stay tuned. Even when we forget about you.

Art Reclaimed

One night, back in 2009, Diamond and Gem met in a dark computer lab. In quiet secrecy, they drew each other in most serious earnestness. Gazing into the other’s eyes, each described with pen and ink that which was true within her own eye. And behold! A masterpiece!

Peek-A-Boo
As I sat on the subway staring at my reflection –my favorite passtime– in the empty advertisement display case, it dawned on me, as things often do, that widow peaks are a rare and undervalued commodity in this day and age.
I understand that it is genetics which provides us lucky individuals with the edgy hairline secretly envied by many, but it seems tragic to see the rounded hairlines of the masses.
This makes me wonder, what does it all mean? Are those with widows peaks gifted with some unique potential? Do widows peaks innately hold beauty or are they simply bestowed on already beautiful people?
So many questions with so few answers…
I believe it is my duty as a self proclaimed “widowpeaker” to follow in the legacy of the great widowpeakers before me. I think we all know the admirable man of whom I speak…

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Just as I have remarked on the absence of the Donner Party from the public eye, so too do I feel a void of widows peaks.

Apples to Apples

The Lower East Side’s “Apple Day” festival lacked the foresight to see how valuable Fiona Apple would have been as the main act. I also sought out anyone wearing apple bottom jeans, to no avail.

And I can say with the utmost certainty, that I was the only person at Apple Day to dare say “How do you like them apples?”
For Shame.