The Donner Party deserves more press.

…They were all about the Manifest Destiny.

Some say the Denim Cameltoe is a myth… I have strong evidence to believe otherwise.

A few months ago I took a trip to Canada.

The Game Show Network, under new management, has intelligently decided to make the youth demographic its new target. With this difficult endeavor, they have commissioned us to create a pilot for a new game show. They asked for something flashy, something colorful, something cool. We told them to fuck off.

…But after considerable negotiation, we have done the impossible. We have created, an untitled, unreleased, uncut pilot that successfully gets your juices flowing. A show of gigantic proportions. A show of serious mind altering content.

The show will consist of three volunteers. There are then at least three contestants, and of course the host. Before the start of the show, each volunteer will be given a different illicit substance (i.e. Heroin, LSD, PCP, Marijuana, Peyote, etc…) The point of the game is for each contestant to observe the symptoms of each volunteer and guess which drug he or she has taken.

The Daily Double, if you will, is when each volunteer receives two different drugs and the contestants must guess the combo.

We have a feeling this show is going to be a smash hit, and will return the Game Show Network to its former glory.

*in partnership with D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education)

Here at Memorandum in Tandem Inc., we just want to remind you that

Please excuse my long absence from this magnificent forum.

I have been on location. Doing painstaking research day in – day out, in order to understand the true nature of the housewife.
Whether it is doing the dishes, separating lights and darks, or making scalloped potatoes, I have nearly mastered this age old art and opression of women.
In order to have more fruitful research, I have completely given up any faith in my ability as a human being outside of the home. I now know that my only talent is for pushing the vacuum around the carpet, meticulously folding my families under garments, the occasional trip out of the house to water the plants, and keeping my mouth shut when the men of the house are talking.

In conclusion, I believe that by the end of this research project, i will have become completely acclimated to a life of repression.

When God closes a door, he opens a glycogen window.

Is it just me, or does Eno’s “Deep Blue Day” remind you of the great Christmas carol, “Little Drummer Boy”?

See for yourself.

I watched a homeless man light up in the subway late last night. Which made me ponder the obvious question: how much sex do homeless people have? And if they are homeless and having sex, does it render them all immediately sex offenders? And if they are committing a crime, how many get arrested/charged?

Just curious.