Pete Flotz thinks he is a regular guy. He goes to work every day and comes home every night. He thinks he’s happy. Everything has worked out after all. He even gets laid every once in a while. But what Pete will never discover is that he possesses a very special power.

It all started a couple of years ago. A recently divorced coworker invited his cubicle mates to happy hour and Pete found himself at Hank’s American Bar tossing back two-dollar PBRs with his new friends. Eyes unfocused and stomach distended, single Earl Hicks suggested the group trek down 4th Street to grab a couple of burritos. Pete only discovered burritos in college but he immediately found them to his liking and was quick to second Earl’s proposal. The stale and dusty crew set off and soon made it to the Bean Shack. The line was long but Pete seemed to float gently through the hungry crowd, propelled above the musty, sweet-smelling room.

What can I get for you, sir?

Pulled porkburraidoeee…

An angel stood before him, white wings flapping, a pink glow enveloping them both. Pete’s eyes crossed and his heart seemed to stop.

Who are you, he managed.

I work here, sir.

But how?

Sir, what can I get for you today?

I, I, I….

The angel opened his wide, toothless mouth and a deep booming voice spoke from every direction: Pete. Peter. Today you worship at the altar of the Golden Burrito. Prepare thine belly!